I’m not a confrontational person by nature but felt like I had to be. It robbed me of the compassion and curiosity I naturally possessed for people. I was thinking out loud and through that, it felt empowering in many ways but at the same time I also relinquished some of the power I had in other ways. At the time, I was a young designer who had just emerged in the scene and was slowly gaining consciousness about the intersections of his identity. I think when you grow up feeling worthless, any sort of attention will feel like a drug and I think starting in the early 2010s-some of the discourse surrounding topics such as race, identity, gatekeeping, felt really affirming and it helped me make sense of some really complicated emotions and feelings in the world. I think over the course of most of my twenties, this account along with my other social media accounts had filled a void that I felt in my heart. I’ve had people over the years thank me for having this Tumblr but to be honest, I cared more about being perceived as helpful more than actually being helpful. A lot of times it was merely a reflection of what I was going through in my personal life at the time. Rereading old entries, I think there’s advice I gave that was good, and I think there were some exchanges that were selfish, braggadocios, and ungenerous. I’m glad to know that a lot of people found my entries to be useful, or at least entertaining and I’m sure it led to some positive things in my career-but when I look back, I see a naive person growing up in public and I don’t think that was the best thing in the world to go through and it wasn’t as altruistic as was implied. I don’t think it’s good to keep this going for a lot of reasons. Honestly, I started this Tumblr a decade ago to just be a process blog of my own student work while I was attending grad school and it ended up morphing into more of an advice column for better or worse. I want to close this chapter properly and to hopefully contextualize its contents in a productive way should someone stumble across this account in the future. This has been a document of a specific period of time in my life that I think has ended. It’s been about ten years since I started this Tumblr account, and nearly two years since I last updated.

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